Thursday, March 19, 2009

Women-Treated like an instrument!?

After a long time I am penning down some thoughts and starting it with a very famous Quote only by Shirley Chisholm

‘The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl."

I was talking to my friend yesterday and we were talking on very sensitive personal issue of her life and I realized that Where do women stand? Everybody shouts here and there that Women are given equal opportunities and equality in this world. Women are reaching to higher new worlds, but the real fact is that Women are still under covers. If we see there are very few women who have make it to the top, it’s about professionalism and that too we only know the media stories, how they achieved and all. People still are not aware of the hidden stories, how strong they have to become to reach to that level, how they fought with the male group,better known as Chauvinism(of course not verbal or violent fight, a professional fight, politics and all)

Achieving Great heights doesn’t prove Women to be treated equal or a part of equal society. Is It?

‘One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man.’

In today’s world Women go through such mental stress not only in professional front but also in personal front. Men never go through such fronts. A woman sacrifice and compromises every then and now. Men and their Ego, they never do so.

Men once leaves house with a relief of being no more responsible and leaves everything for Women to do. She cooks, take care of the family, and take care of her Children and her job, everything. And What Men do, Goes to office, Work, Dominate female colleagues.A Indian men cannot See women grabbing more rewards. This is what life they live.

In personal Life, they can use abusive languages to them, can be violent with them. They take advantage of Women being less masculine. Take advantage of their emotions.

But they have never stand for Women’s Right! Have they ever been? No! What a hypocrisy it is!? Can shout but cannot support!

My friend who’s father had an Extra marital after having 2 children, he had an affair..

And when the wife confronted him He offered a blank Cheque!! This is the way women are treated. What the hell man..!!

How the woman felt that time..!? She must have been shattered, and what about the children, they must have felt so left alone a father doing this, the trust the respect, all must have vanished. What women go through when the male act so irresponsibly or i should say rediculously like this?! Nobody can even understand this Except Woman herself!!

Women are still entangled with those big chains: they are bounded with religion, castes, and traditions. Men are not! But why? They don’t have to follow traditions or so?

Indian Women are brought up like this only. ‘Pati he parmeshwar’ types, there thought process has limited flow of teaching. Do Males deserve all this wholehearted respect? So much of pampering!?

Anybody can bellow that women have the right to do this and Blah blah blah. But reality is something else? It’s all gimmick. We see something and its something else.

This is only one case we know about it, there would be 1000 cases like this,

Where women have sacrificed everything after being under such a tremendous mental stress just because of her children and of public image (Family). If women do such thing, men can just blast and shout, putting disgusting allegations, insulting badly and next step divorce.

Is this the Way Women should be treated!? We celebrate Women’s Day for this..?

Why Such inequality?

‘Women is treated like an instrument, rather than an ornament.’

The above quote very well justified what all women go through!

This is only urban phase. So now we can think how worst would be Rural. Where everyday a drunken man comes home and beat her wife. Spend all of his jewels in gambling. After all this people say that Women has a 'say' in the community..Strange!??


I just Rap up my post by the last quote which in itself sums up everything.

‘I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ‘

(No No people am not celebrating any belated Women’s day or so, It’s a Random thought, Random feeling and a random scribbling.)

PS:I am not feminist neither I hate men!

Read it with a Heart not with a mind of doing auto biopsy. I am again emphasizing, Its just a random scribbling .


Will love to read your views for sure:)

(Quotes displayed are taken from various sites)


aqua gurl said...

"Women is treated like an instrument, rather than an ornament.’.....this ones the best...!!!

Gauri Mathur said...


how can i explore ME... said...

ya i respect for what woman are capable of.....a guy who beats a woman aint a man....he is impotent and coward....its also true that woman are relatively more patient and static....
but every other guy aint a chavenistic......ya we got anger,but we use that in our work not to rule women....if any guy scolds his lady staff,it cant be taken as a abuse to that lady....teachers do scold students,dont they...??...
and regarding customs and rituals....i dont c any urban woman really follow such traditions any more.....they dont even wear sindoor nowdays.....
as far as rural women are concerned,they have to raise their own voice....if u want sth,u got 2 ask for it...no1 is gonna come and rescue you.....
at last, those men who dont respect women must be sent to jail for years,,,,,but dont blame the whole male sex group......

Rushabhh Gandhi said...

Firstly would say, Check out my last post... I posted something on similiar lines....

and Here, i would strongly say.. i liked the post.. It was a very strong post..but the P.S. section made it loose all its energy!
you are true what you have written, why do you want to make it known as just a random scribbling...??
There's where MAN take the benefit of all..!!!
Just a suggestion.. Remove the P.S. section..Stand by what you are saying! you are not wrong!

Gauri Mathur said...

Towards reclamation said...

Okay !!!!!!!!!!1

Why is men-bashing becoming so generic ..

dear the right to equality is there .. take it. If a man hits.. hit him back.
It is not that women do not have extra-marital affairs .. there are many cases for that as well ..
Dont get emotional about the issue. It is not an emotional one. To fight it, follow your beliefs and defend them. Oppression is by force, yes but also because of lack of retaliation. There are many who dont give that respect and there are many who do.
I know I do, i know my father does .. what about your father ? for that matter what about families of all members here .. ??

The points you raised, rather the incidents you cited are true dear but you make the same mistake that media takes advantage off... you get emotional about it and hence a sensationalisation led by generalisation of the issue.. Don't mother-in-laws ill treat their daughter-in-laws mostly ??? why not higlight that as well ..
Man and woman are equal .. every being for that matter in nature is .. but like man is depriving animals of what hthey have a right to simply because he is greedy and is more resourceful , some men do that and some who are responsible do not.
A man going to earn while wife takes care of the household .. both are equally vital to sustain the family and where both work in many cases the understanding comes.

lastly .. things are changing .. you atleast see those few women on top now dont you ? that is a change ... dont undermine it .. the numbers are increasing .. look at the subcontinet itself .. woman are in power .. they are leading countries/have been ..
India, bangadesh, pakistan,germany and some more ...
I am sorry but I do not like this generic bashing .. it is not rational as per me .. and i dont intend to be rude .. so apologies if the tone appears to be so ..

nice to see you write on something different from your normal stuff though

jayaram said...

Sad it has been like this. Maybe it the manifestation of one's own destiny. Live to give an earn respect.

NEHA said...

i truly beleive wat u said....very well writen...

Hopeless Romantic said...

well written...but too generic...n just shows one side of the urban india i thinks things have changed drastically a lot :)

mayz said...

there is a lot of truth in wat u've written...d mentality is still centuries ol...but we cant generalize that every man is like that...yes i agree thr r sections of society which treat women like d way u have written...n sadly these form d majority of our society but we do see changes happenin even if at a small level but changes r happenin...

sawan said...

MEN do not treat women as an instrument or an ornament. Those who treat women like that are not men.
pls refrain urself from generalizing such a sensitive topic. there are lot of people around who respects women. pls look around and m sure u wud find them.

Gauri Mathur said...

@Hopin can i explore me..

Scolding is other thing and domination is what am talking about.
We are not here to talk about school kids dude!!

U have said a line there
I want like to point out 'but every other guy aint a chavenistic'......

same way 'every other Women are not like that Who donot follow!'
I have seen many ladies putting up that sindoor,My mother do so!

And If Women would not be following any traditions r so,Then A happy family would not be a happy family anymore.U getting me na..
Sindoor puttin is not only one traditon dear friend!
I am not 'blaming' any sex group.!


उन्मुक्त said...

कानून में महिलाओं को पुरुषों के बराबर दर्जा दिया गया है पर शायद यह केवल कानून में है, वास्तविकता में नहीं। यह भी सच है कि महिलाओं को पुरुषों के बराबर सफलत पाने के लिये कहीं ज्यादा मेहनत करनी पड़ती है पर यह सब बदल रहा है और इसे बदलना होगा।

कृपया वर्ड वेरीफिकेशन हटा लें। यह न केवल मेरी उम्र के लोगों को तंग करता है पर लोगों को टिप्पणी करने से भी हतोत्साहित करता है। आप चाहें तो इसकी जगह कमेंट मॉडरेशन का विकल्प ले लें।

Gauri Mathur said...

Hey Rushabh!!
After reading your comment I was releived atleast u didnt take my post in Wrong sense,u understood the essence of it.
It was just what I felt,I heard it and what i have seen it ,I have written it.!

And I Rote that PS section Just to avoid any Kind of Controversies,But it doesnt seem so..sigh :D:D

Thanks acting as a pillar!
Il surely read that post!
take care..

how can i explore ME... said...

mentioning student teacher thing wasnt literal dudette...:)

ok i m stopping,i dont want u to be another victim of my debating attitude....(my frnds get pissed off when i start debating)... lol...:)
btw its a nice post....keep writing....

Anonymous said...

this had me smiling with pride through out... i am proude of you for writing this one.. :)

..pAnKHuRi.. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pallav said...

the problem lies..tht we talk abt the 21st centruy but fact is our mindset and mentality is still centuries old..
i hv read somewhr else also.its so unfortunate where we worship a women as Durga ka Avttaar, thier we beat her.. it is not limited upto domestic volience, infact if u see our society where we live they r the main culprits...why they talk bad abt girls if by mistake she has done something wrong... if men can forgive then whynot women...
i think nw women is independent but still they need so called husband and men support to live...
can anbody tell Why???
thts becx of fear of society and internal insecurity..
so here she has to take step n she has to live by own terms..
why cant she goes against her husband, why cant she goes n tell everybody i.e so called society abt her husband affair....

i donno whether i m right or wrong but i feel now women has to act strongly.....

very nice n stirred post...


Gauri Mathur said...

@Jayaramdas Uncle..
We cannot leave everything by saying its destiny na..
The matters which can be sorted out should be sorted out..

Gauri Mathur said...

Hey Neha.!!

Gauri Mathur said...

@Hopeless Romantic,,
Nice pik..i like this colour!
Its not generic not one sided story,This what going onn and u r rite things are changing..
They have to change though they are alot to change, But its not drastically change,,we are just seeing a very tiny part of it..first there usto be parda system and Sati and all now there is no much difference..its been changed to using abusive lang.,Fighting fighting..(Violence)..nthn much big..


Gauri Mathur said...

Yeah Mayz changes are happeneing, a still alot to change

Gauri Mathur said...

Showing aggression will not solve this sensitivity.

I can make you count on my fingers when women is treated like that.

Can u make me count on your fingers when women is NOT treated like that...?

Gauri Mathur said...

Hey Pink Orchid..
Thanks.. :)


@How can i explore me..

Ans Sid,,I didnt forgot to reply on ur comment:)

jayaram said...

I suppose it's true. I meant that u must strive 2 change your destiny wherever possible and let not destiny overcome u. God bless.

Gauri Mathur said...

@Jayaramdas Uncle..
Thanks you!
Hope you doing fine.
Take care Uncle

Gauri Mathur said...

I would like to quote something..Then i hope everything will be clear..

I wish someone would have told me that, just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married. ~Marlo Thomas

take care..

sawan said...

Gauri, you took me wrong! If yo felt my words are aggressive, pardon me. lets not talk about challenging each other cos we both know its not practical. I do not disagree with you when you say that there are women who are treated bad. but i also do not agree with you wen you try to say that most of the woman are treated like that. i could understand the emotion with which you wrote this. please try to realize that there are lot of men who treat women with respect. when you generalize that men treat women as an instrument, there are lot like me who gets hurt. again, my intentions were not to disrespect your words, forgive me if you felt so.

Gauri Mathur said...

Ofcourse Sawan I respect your sentiments.
I know there are Men who treat women with respect, and I am glad to know this that your one of them.
But the matter of fact is majority is less.
It was not atall an opinonated post.
So dont take me either Wrong.

And Cummon Sawan U didnt hurt me,not atall..
So please dont feel sorry for anything.
Take care

Towards reclamation said...

so u dnt reply to my comments eh ??? now i am cross with you kiddoo

Gauri Mathur said...

Arrey Il reply urs,i remember..likha to haii..
thoda wait to kar budhuu..

Gauri Mathur said...

Hey Sid...Sorry for replying you late and at the last....:D:D

In recent times theres been alot happened with women so theres alot of articles,you have come acroos lots of posts and that makes you think that its becoming too generic.

Do you really think hiting back is the solution of this?
I dont think so,because it will be then vicious circle till the time there will be no understanding,it will continue and continue,,theres no end..the situation will become worse..
Ok take it as a ex,,if u get fight wid ur sister or brother,he/she hits back to you,then u also hit back and it goes onn and at the end it becomes worst,same is with hiting back rule..

I am not getting emotional about the issue,i was just thinking that this how women is treated and if it would be the vice versa case then,things would be less complicated..

Ofcourse there are many who respect but majority is less as i said.
And ya My father respect Women Like your father do:)

Ya you are right Men goes to work and Women stays at hold but dont you think so when Women wants to work and the husbands says that,'ghar ka kaam sambhalo yehe tumahre liye hai',,what will you say to this??Domination or something else??
And that Saas vali thingy bhi happen tbhi..jab Men doesnt support a Women!Hes also involved in all this..

Ofcourse Women are raisng but What wil you say to Kiran Bedie's case..??I Hope you remember why she took a voluntary retirement!?

Dekhle Sid ab kardiya hai reply mene..ab gussa mat hoiyoo:D:)
Thank you..tere chuni nuni muni appreciation ke liyee:D:D
Take care..

sawan said...

gauri, u r new to my blog, so thought this might be of ur interest. do check it when u get time.

kim said...

Gauri i really appreciate your article... that what is true face of life.... and trust me dear those who are saying the don't or they won't they are big on... "u kw wht...." lolzzzz.......... point is we cn't help it... its male dominating world. We are helpless.......your article made me cry...

P.S its ntn like women cant hit or they cn't do the same its jus bcoz.... "WE ARE DECENT ENUF TO FORGIVE THESE MORONS"

उन्मुक्त said...

बात तो आप ठीक ही कह रहीं हैं।

कुछ समय पहले मैंने आज की दुर्गा - महिला सशक्तिकरण चिट्ठी लिखी थी। इसमें महिलाओं की कानूनी लड़ाई का जिक्र किया था।

महिलाओं के व्यक्तिगत जीवन की कठिनाइयों के बारे में आप जैसी एक महिला चिट्ठाकार की चिट्टी पर लाल धब्बों की कहानी - महिलाओं की जुबानी नामक चिट्ठी में लिखी।

मेरी पत्नी पढ़ाती है। महिलाओं की मुश्किलों को मैं भी समझता हूं।

Ketan said...

It's good you've learnt something important about life--the nature of men. I truly agree certain number of men are like that (I don't know what percentage of men are like that; won't object even if you say 99.99%)...and so are's only about getting the right opportunity. But that's not what I'm replying for.

You might feel you've painted a very grim picture of the world by highlighting the plight of women, but the fact is yet your picture is quite rosy.

You say there are hidden stories behind people reaching the "top". I agree about the "hidden" part. but want you to know that what's hidden is not strength or determination, or any such exalted virtue, rather more often than not, it's depravity, cunningness, overt and covert manipulation of people and circumstances.

The earlier you remedy yourself of mistaken belief of how one reaches the top, the earlier you're likely to embark on your journey to the top, or cancel your trip altogether! And of course, there's no "middle path".

If you just might be wondering I didn't give any compliment--if you learn this lesson, it'd be of infinitely greater utilty than any compliment you'd get from me.


Armwrestling4Life said...

Guddi, your article is very heartfelt, I"ll grant you that. I can speak volumes about the topic but because of the internet problem, I"ll just talk about your article's title.
Whoever said that quote was not intellectually gifted. Women being used as an instrument instead of an ornament..Does that imply that they should be used as an ornament. That is foolish because ornaments are objects too. By that logic, trophy wives are the best position women can attain because they are the ultimate ornament. just food for thought for you my dear.